


Unlimited

by transcendental_trash



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Coming of Age, Developing Relationship, M/M, Past Levi/Erwin Smith, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 16:57:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11085942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transcendental_trash/pseuds/transcendental_trash
Summary: Eren and Levi's days are numbered, but the lessons they learn from one another are not.Canonverse. Levi/Eren, EreRi, RiRen.





	Unlimited

**_14_ **

The wind is gone from Eren Jaeger’s lungs as the Captain’s boot collides with his ribcage.  A dull _thud_ resounds in the stone-walled courtroom, and he swears he can feel one of his bones shatter upon impact.

He hunches over, gasping for air, ears ringing, and vision blurring.  As he catches a breath, rough fingers yank his head up by the hair and a blunt object – a knee? – collides with his nose.  A shuddering crack reverberates off of the walls.

Barely conscious, Eren endures the sudden beating with shock, and long after it ends, he cannot hear his own verdict, nor can he look the Captain in the eye when he passes by.  That is why, upon the Captain’s confrontation in the chambers, Eren shrinks into himself and draws away.  Captain Levi is beside him on the divan, arm loosely settled on the seat behind his head, so close it could very well be wrapped around his shoulders.  Caught between fear and longing, Eren grapples with these strange new feelings while also wincing at the pain erupting from various joints every time he moves his body.

“You understand why I had to do what I did, don’t you?” Levi asks lazily, only gracing Eren with his gaze after he finished his sentence.  There is a dull glint in his steely, gray eyes, one he is not yet accustomed to.  Despite the earlier events of the day, Eren can understand how Levi can command respect almost instantly.

Eren nods, shakily.  He understands now, firsthand, why the short, yet foreboding person sitting beside him is referred to as Humanity’s Strongest.  He briefly wonders why Levi isn’t a Titan himself.  The fight for humanity’s survival would barely even be a scuffle if Levi were the Titan-shifter and not himself.

“Ah, let him be, Levi!” Hange cheerily interjects as they dab at Eren’s cuts, scrapes, and bruises with an odd-smelling medicine.  They look up at Eren with a smile from their crouched position in front of him.  “The Captain is strange like this to all of us, especially his close friends.  Don’t take it too personally.”

Levi scowls at Hange.  “Nobody asked for your opinion, Glasses.”

Hange merely ignores Levi’s comment and continues to work happily on Eren.  “He’s just bitter,” they continue, as though Levi is not in the room.  “But he’s really a great Captain!”  They pat Eren affectionately on his unscathed knee.  “You’ll see.”  Hange’s gaze is warm and friendly.  Eren nervously returns their smile.

Eren dares to glance in Levi’s direction again.  The Captain is already looking at him, somewhat expectantly, and Eren’s cheeks are suddenly burning.

“I’m taking responsibility for you,” Levi explains later that night, leading Eren to his quarters.  Eren is amazed at how fluidly Levi can speak, even about the most somber of issues.

Levi stops outside the door, unlocks it, and pushes it open.  He makes eye contact with Eren once more, and again, his gaze is hard.

“Like you said, brat.  Don’t make me regret this.”

Eren barely sleeps that night.

**_87_ **

Mikasa didn’t need to say anything for Eren to know just how bad of an idea she believed it to be.

“Mikasa, I can’t help it.  It’s how I feel,” he explains sheepishly one night after she gives him a pointed glance.  They’re in the cabin, seated on Eren’s thin, straw mattress, the inaudible din surrounding them completely drowning out Eren’s words.

“He _beat_ you,” protested Mikasa.  “Eren, how could you…”

“I know!” Eren interrupted in frustration.  “Believe me, I don’t want this any more than you do, Mikasa.”  His shoulders slump and he cannot lift his gaze from the barely-eaten piece of bread in his hand.  He has little appetite nowadays, partially due to the swelling of his healing lip.

Mikasa’s gaze is unwavering and her lips are pressed into a thin line.  “I support whatever makes you happy,” she finally says.  “I just want you to realize what this happiness will cost you.”  She pointedly surveys her surroundings.  “We are at war.  There is so much at stake.  You already are at such a high risk of being physically hurt…”  She trails off.

“I know,” Eren replies, slightly irked.  “I never said I would act on these…feelings.”  His shoulders sag slightly.

Across the bunk, Armin tentatively pipes up.  “Would it make you feel better if you talked to the Captain?  Sometimes, it’s better for your own sake, even if the timing isn’t right or if he rejects you.”

Mikasa gives Armin a pointed glare.

“What?” Armin asks, taken aback.

“Maybe it’s just admiration?” Eren asks aloud.  “I don’t know.  I’ve never had these kinds of feelings for someone before…how do I know it won’t just go away?”  He scratches his head thoughtfully, no longer meeting Mikasa or Armin’s gazes.

Mikasa and Armin glance silently at one another.  “I think,” Armin says slowly, “that you shouldn’t discount your own emotions.”

“But…”

“Eren, we’ve been dreaming of the ocean since we were children.”  Armin smiles tenderly.  “Just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean we’ve given up.  If we can make it this far believing in a dream that everybody else has discredited, why should your feelings be ignored?”

“Just because they might be fleeting doesn’t make them any less real, either,” Mikasa adds quietly, fingers toying with the loose threads fraying on the end of her scarf.

Eren smiles warmly, and his posture straightens.  “Thanks, you two.”

**_143_ **

They sit on the rooftop in silence, the sun melting like butter over the treetops in the distance.  A golden tint engulfs them, bathing them in a glowing warmth that Eren would forever remember tingling even in his fingertips and toes.  He drew up his knees, resting his arms across them, allowing a slight shiver of contentment to set him perfectly at ease.

Beside him, Levi is silent and unmoving.  The sunlight casts more shadows than usual across his pallid, angular face, but to Eren, it only accentuates the sharpness of his beautiful cheekbones, the unique curvature to his eyes and the shadows beneath, the firmness of his jaw, and the sharpness of his nose and chin.  The sunlight makes Levi beautiful because the two never agree otherwise.

Eren opens his mouth to explain his thoughts, but decides against it when the words die on his lips.  He feels silly for having these thoughts, for noticing such small and insignificant details.  Is he not a soldier?  Are there not more serious issues that deserve his attention?

And furthermore, would the ambiguity of his dual nature as a human and a Titan endanger Levi?  Worse yet, would it not disgust him?

“Just say what you have to say,” Levi comments suddenly, breaking the silence.

Eren, caught off-guard, looks up nervously.  “W-what do you mean, Sir?”

“You were fidgeting.  It’s annoying.”

“O-oh…” Eren moves to sit on his hands, squirming uncomfortably.  “I apologize, Sir.”

Levi rolls his eyes as Eren’s entire body squirms beside him.  “Are you trying to worm yourself off the ledge?”  He turns to face him, expression bored but gaze steady.  “What’s the matter with you?”

“Something that will get me into trouble if I say it out loud,” mutters Eren reluctantly, glancing up to meet Levi’s stony stare.

Levi raises an eyebrow.  “Oh?  Was it you who stole the new shipment of steak, then?”

Eren brow furrows in confusion.  “What?  No, that’s not…”

“Or, by any chance, was it you who set off two entire packages of flares in a pitiful attempt to clean the storeroom?”  A hint of bitterness has entered Levi’s tone.

Eren fights the urge to chuckle.  “No, Sir.”

Levi leans forward, a strange haze in his eyes and a small smirk on his thin lips.  “Then tell me something that could possibly upset me more.”

Eren can’t help but return Levi’s smile.  “Well, you see, Sir, I’ve developed a sort of romantic interest for you.  And…well, that’s it.”  He is amazed at how well the words flowed from his heart to his lips (until the very end), and is shocked at how Levi’s presence was able to calm him.  It was almost as if…

Eren flushes deeply.

 _As if he already knew_.

“Hm.”  The smirk broadens across Levi’s features, and he is all but beaming.  “Well, if that’s the case, there is only one thing I have to say to you, Jaeger.”

Heat continues to rise to Eren’s cheeks.  He casts his eyes downward, but before the tidal wave of utter humiliation can wash over him, there is a sudden, soft touch against the shell of his ear.

“Perhaps you should only refer to me as ‘Sir’ in public from now on,” whispers Levi in his ear.

**_156_ **

Nearly two weeks pass without so much as a glance from Levi to Eren.  Then again, Eren refuses to look Levi in the eye.

Eren does not voice his troubles aloud, but his worried glances in the directions of the Survey Corps leaders and the way he furrows his brow and picks at his meals alert Mikasa and Armin almost instantly.

“What’s wrong, Eren?” Armin asks curiously one afternoon as Eren repeatedly spears his green beans with his fork, his composure withdrawn.  “You like green bean lunches.”

Armin’s innocent question attracts Eren’s attention, although Armin’s knowing gaze conveys the real question – _Are you safe_?

Eren allows Armin a small smile, which seems to ease his friend’s worries, if only slightly.  “There’s a lot on my mind,” he confesses, and while vague, he can at least say that he is being honest.

This is not enough for Mikasa, whose thin eyebrows draw together in suspicion.  “Eren, we’re here for you.  If something’s wrong, you can talk to us about it.”

Before Eren can open his mouth to reply, Armin pipes up, “Is it because Captain Levi keeps glaring at you?” Armin’s blue eyes suddenly widen.  “You…did you…” his voice lowers to a whisper, “ _talk_ to him?”

A deep flush works its way up from Eren’s neck to his face.  “Armin!” he hisses.

“You did!” Mikasa exclaims, eyes widening.

“How did it go?” Armin presses.

Just them, Eren feels a sharp sting on the back of his head.

“Oi,” Levi grunts, causing Eren to whip around.  “Your extra lessons are tonight at twenty.  If you’re even a minute late, I’m putting you on cleaning duty for the next two months.”

Levi is gone before Eren can choke out an answer.  He turns back, slowly, to his friends, who are staring at him.

“He reciprocated, didn’t he,” Mikasa asks, calmly, although it is more of a statement than a question.

Eren can barely stutter out a reply, and Armin just laughs.

**_219_ **

Eren kisses Levi first.  They are in the armory, taking inventory, polishing the gear, and neither of them are prepared.  Eren himself does not remember anything aside from the indescribable, primal urge he feels.  

One moment, they are silently marking the number of gas tanks in a record book – or rather, Levi scrawls the numbers in as Eren hurriedly reorganizes the supplies, knocking over a shelf of blades and harnesses in the process.

“Oi,” Levi says, causing Eren’s head to snap up, “pay attention, why don’t you?  The noise you’re making could wake up Titans a mile over.  Fucking destructive oaf…”

Levi turns his back, grumbling to himself, leaving Eren stunned and unsure of how to react.  Still holding gas tanks in the crook of his left arm, Eren acts on impulse – he reaches with his right hand to grab Levi’s jacket and whirls him back around.  He is met with a scowl so typical of Levi that it warms his heart, and before the swears can escape Levi’s open mouth, Eren presses his lips to Levi’s in an open-mouthed, toothy kiss.

It is clumsy, awkward, and Eren drops a gas tank on Levi’s foot in the process.

Levi pulls away, curses at last, and promptly punches Eren in the gut.

Eren drops the rest of the gas tanks and doubles over, although having previously suffered a beating from Levi, he can sense that this punch was not intended to harm.  Still, he winces at the blow and the sudden sensation of the wind escaping his lungs.

“Like this, you rouge,” Levi speaks in a throaty voice, before pulling Eren up by his collar and pulling him swiftly into another, softer, kiss.  This time, Eren is ecstatic to have his breath taken away.

When they pull away, Levi’s eyes are dark, Eren is flushed, and the gas tank count is incorrectly marked.

Nonetheless, Eren feels a new high, one he can reach without the use of the 3D maneuvering gear.

**_370_ **

The expedition takes a turn for the worse.

The right flank has been taken out and desperate measures are being taken.  The mountain forests are new terrain and the unleveled, rocky fields make targeting much more difficult than usual.  Levi and Mikasa charge forward, slicing through the air and mechanically, yet gracefully, striking down Titans in the golden afternoon light.  The scene is a strange paradox of sleepy peace and frenzied warfare.

Eren eventually follows, still under the supervision and protection of senior Scouts.

“I would have had to retrieve your corpse, or whatever was left of it,” Levi continues in a low, controlled voice.  “And what’s more, sign and authenticate your death report.”

Eren’s brow furrows.  “But I’m not dead.  I won’t die.  Not here.  I will kill them – every last one – and I refuse to die until I do so!”

“Tch,” Levi hisses.  “You’re too young to believe you have any semblance of mortality.”  He pushes past Eren, roughly shouldering him aside.  “You don’t even realize how stupid your recklessness – _not_ bravery, mind you – makes you sound.”

“I’m no different than any other Scout,” Eren retorts.  “Even if I die, the same could happen to anybody.  I’m not special.”

Levi pauses and turns to look back at Eren, his steel-blue gaze meeting Eren’s fiery one.  In Eren’s eyes, he sees the defiant pride of youth, and though he has seen it many times in new recruits, the thought of that light being extinguished in Eren’s makes his skin crawl.  How could he so carelessly throw his beautiful life in the face of such ugliness without rationale?

Levi grabs Eren roughly by the belt strapped across his chest and pulls him down to his level.  “What will you leave behind if you carelessly throw your life away?” he asked quietly through clenched teeth.  His breathing is unsteady, he feels cold, he wants to touch Eren and be close to him, not threaten him, but it’s impossible to do that.  They are soldiers.  They are fighting a war.  They should not let emotion overrule duty.

Eren looks confused, but clings to the small, yet sudden, realization he makes once Levi wordlessly bows his head.  He clears his throat, before saying steadily, “Captain…Levi…are you trying to say that…”

Levi releases him, pushing both Eren and his overwhelming urge to drown himself in Eren’s warmth away in the process.  “There is a war going on, Eren, and you are humanity’s final hope, or so they say.”  In the dim light of the oil lamps, Eren can see how exhausted Levi looks, but also now can he clearly see the fear in his eyes.  “We can’t afford to concern ourselves with sentiment now that our mission is clear.”  He straightens his back and fixes his gaze upon Eren’s.  _Perhaps I should have made the brat hate me.  It would have been easier.  No, it would have been right_.  “I apologize for losing my composure.  Forgive me.  It will not happen again.”

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Eren allows a small smile to grace his lips, dimples creating shadows on his young face.  He steps towards Levi.  “If we die tomorrow,” he asks slowly, “shouldn’t we then die with no regrets?  No questions?”

Levi scoffs.  “My point, brat, is that you are far too reckless.  Clearly, that has been lost on you.”

Eren frowns.  “I’m working on that.  Aren’t you being a little reckless, anyway?”

Levi narrowed his eyes, stunned.  “Excuse me?”

Eren’s grin turned wolfish.  “Well, perhaps it is the both of us, to a fault, but if I didn’t know any better…like, for instance, Commander Erwin…”

An angry – or embarrassed – flush rises to Levi’s cheeks, and he shoves Eren away rather than admit defeat.

They retreat later that evening – several dead and more wounded.  Eren takes note of the way Levi’s glares and quick touches last longer than usual.

**_428_ **

Levi is pacing in Commander Erwin’s quarters as they are discussing the complications of their cold conflict with the Military Police.  As conversation winds to a close and the candle has all but burnt out, Erwin leans forward on his desk, propped up by his elbows, running his fingers through his hair.

Levi steers himself towards the door when he is stopped.

“Levi…” Erwin begins, and Levi rolls his eyes at the tone.  It is cautious, with a hint of warning, and Levi knows what is to follow.

“Yes?”  He turns around and moves to lean against the wall, hoping that Erwin knows him well enough to leave well enough alone based on the annoyance in his tone.

Erwin does know, and he raises one eyebrow.  “You don’t have to react so defensively,” he states, matter-of-factly, so typical of Erwin.  Levi hates how understanding Erwin is of him.  “But, if you weren’t doing something wrong, now you just sound guilty.”

“You’re far too smug about this,” grumbles Levi, glowering at his companion.

Erwin chuckles, a genuine grin on his face.  “Of course I am.  In all seriousness, Levi, I simply wanted to express my concerns.  I won’t name it directly, because I know you’ll – yes, _that_ finger precisely – but I’d like to think you are well enough aware of the consequences that your actions might have.”  Erwin glances at him pointedly, all trace of humor erased from his face.  “In terms of rank _and_ emotion, might I add.”

Levi scoffs.  “I can handle myself just fine.”  He crosses his arms over his chest in defiance.

“He’s young,” Erwin prompts gently.

“I _know_.  You think I haven’t all but flogged myself for it?”

Erwin cracks a smile.  “I know you, Levi.  I know you’ll do the right thing.”  He turns back to his paperwork momentarily.

Levi smirks, sauntering towards the door.  “I won’t fuck him on your desk, if that’s what’s right.”  He lays his hand on the door handle and waits patiently for Erwin’s reaction.

Erwin stiffens.  He looks up, slowly, and for a moment, Levi wonders if the glint in his eyes will be murderous or good-natured.

It is neither.

Grinning devilishly, Erwin confidently locks Levi’s gaze.  He leans forward, his blue eyes dark in a way that Levi only barely remembers nowadays.  For a moment, his breath hitches, as though the reaction is instinctive.

“We can’t have that happening again, now can we?” Erwin asks, his voice husky.

A grin breaks out on Levi’s face, and the two men share a knowing glance before Levi finally struts out of the room.

**_561_ **

When they love, they love passionately, and when they fight, they fight terribly.  And, like all extremes, these outbursts last anywhere from a few fleeting moments to a week or two at most.

Everything about both Eren and Levi as individuals is intense and overwhelming, and once combined, they explode.  Levi’s coldness and silence antagonizes Eren, whose yearning for verbal and physical validation is high, and he lashes out with hot-headed, impulsive fury in retaliation.  Levi is never amused by Eren’s childish behavior, despite being fully aware of Eren’s youthful ignorance.  The tension boils over, and more often than not, they settle it in the bedroom, made evident by bite and scratch marks that are luckily covered by their uniforms during the daytime.

 _I love you_ , Eren’s eyes betray to Levi first, as they are trudging back to the base following another grim expedition.  They are coated in sweat, grime, and blood – whether from Titans, themselves, or their comrades, they cannot differentiate – and they make eye contact from across the formation.  Levi is on his horse, Eren is leading his own.  Eren smiles at Levi, tenderly, and to Levi, it as though the dark clouds are parting, if only momentarily.

He only returns Eren’s gaze, but cannot bring himself to smile in the wake of the grim tragedy that was the expedition.  Nonetheless, he knew what Eren was saying to him, and somewhere deep within, he felt a warmth erupt in his chest.

“I love you,” Levi confesses to Eren first, softly and gently, and whispered into his thick, dark brown hair as they fall asleep tangled in one another’s arms.  His arms protectively tighten around Eren’s body, as though Eren’s tan skin and taut muscles will never see another scar again while he is under Levi’s care.

Already in a lucid state of mind, Eren does not fully comprehend Levi’s words until the morning, at which point he awakes his lover with a firm kiss and a returned declaration of love.  Levi’s smile is unlike anything he’s ever seen before, reminding Eren of the hazy intoxication of their first weeks as lovers.

He reaches out and touches Levi, cradling his cheek in his hand as though he is looking at him for the first time.  Levi’s fingers lightly settle on his wrist without breaking Eren’s intimate stare.

They are both floating.

**_617_ **

Levi’s exterior fractures bit by bit, rather than all at once.  His story is an intricate puzzle which Eren works hard to piece together, and although it frustrates Eren initially, he grows to be patient, refusing to force any information from Levi.  It takes significant effort to not work himself into a frenzy by overthinking the implications of the words Levi says and does not say.  However, Levi ages Eren in the right ways – he humbles him and balances him. 

Eren does not bat an eye as he learns of life in the Underground.  He watches and listens silently as Levi’s eyes become shadowed.  When he speaks, he is looking somewhere else, and his words come calmly, yet in torrents, and Eren waits with him until the bad taste of Levi’s memories are expelled.

“Isabel is something else,” Levi says one day, rolling his eyes.  “She’s always getting herself into some sort of trouble, but she ends up saving herself.  Even if that means running to me or Farlan to bail her out.”  His eyebrows draw together, remembering some distant memory.

Isabel and Farlan, from Levi’s stories, become as real to Eren as though he’s known them his whole life.  He loves how Levi speaks of them only in the present tense and never once forces him to explain why they are not a part of the Survey Corps.

Eren evokes a sense of patience and compassion in Levi never before seen by the other members of the Survey Corps.  In the early months of their relationship, during the rare instances where Eren manages to sneak into Levi’s quarters for a night, Levi becomes a frequent witness to Eren’s recurring nightmares.

The first time Eren awakes well into the night, sitting up in bed and shaking as a cold sweat breaks out on his forehead, Levi rouses himself instantly, calmly, and prepares a cup of warm tea for Eren.  Soundlessly, he focuses his attention on Eren, presses their foreheads together, and breathes deeply with him before pressing the warm teacup gently into his trembling hands.

“My mother,” Eren weakly protests, his face wet with tears and sweat.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Levi says the first time, and from then on, he doesn’t need to say it again.  Eren falls apart in Levi’s arms on countless occasions, yet Levi shows no hesitation in kissing the tears from the corners of his eyelids or stroking his disheveled hair as he drifts back to sleep wrapped in Levi’s arms.

Levi willingly assigned himself the responsibility of monitoring Eren.  Protecting Eren becomes Levi’s unspoken purpose as well as his own shocking reminder of how much he loves him.

**_710_ **

Strangely enough, it is not the war, hardships, or the trauma that wears them down.  All it is is a matter of time – nearly two years following their first encounter.

They argue with increased frequency.  Eren refuses to hold back.

“You are _never_ honest with me!” he shouts at Levi’s back one night after a particularly long, tense day at the base.  He throws down his jacket on the back of a chair, still dirty from the week’s work, feeling his blood boil as Levi calmly begins undoing his cravat as though Eren had not erupted in the slightest.  It aggravates Eren to no end when Levi ignores him.  It always has.  Tonight, he will make it known once and for all.

“I told you _everything_ ,” Levi hisses through gritted teeth, yanking Eren down until their foreheads are nearly touching.  “I have done everything in my capability and it is _still_ never enough for you.  You want everything and all at once, because you are a selfish brat – yes, you _are_ , Jaeger – and because of that, you fail to even _attempt_ to understand and respect what is around you.  That’s how you’ve almost gotten yourself killed _every fucking time_ we’ve had a mission.”  Levi releases his grip, stepping back and leaving Eren slightly off-balance for a moment.  His gaze is filled with contempt.  “You’re dramatic and you’re childishly impulsive.”

“You _knew_ that,” Eren seethes, taking a step closer.  “ _You_ got involved with a younger person.  You knew me.  You accepted it every goddamn time you told me you loved me.”  Eren feels something churning in his chest, but he pushes the feelings roughly aside in favor of his own argument.

“You are absolutely ridiculous,” Levi fires back, crossing his arms across his chest and straightening his back.  “If you wanted something wild and passionate and immature – firstly, how stupid could you be? – and second, you know better than anyone else that I am not the person who can give you that.”

Eren’s face colors deeply.  “I never asked you…”

“You didn’t have to,” Levi interrupts.  “You’re only angry with me because you can’t handle a mature relationship that isn’t solely based on thrills and sex.”  His eyes narrow, only slightly, but it is enough to get more of a rise out of Eren.  “You’re too scared to look past passion and get serious about anything.”  Levi relaxes, satisfied with his analysis, leaving Eren nearly shaking in anger and frustration.

Before Eren can open his mouth to retort, he suddenly stopps, his white-hot fury suddenly extinguished.  Levi is right, and he had been all along.  There is nothing Eren could do to deny his own personality, much less the state of his and Levi’s relationship.  Everything that has ever driven Eren in his young life was passion, and Levi is no exception.  They rely on adrenaline for their own survival – how could they have expected their relationship to be anything different?

All of his anger, so suddenly washed away, is subdued.  He feels numb.

“We’re burning out.” It wasn’t a question, it is a calmly-spoken statement, the words coming from somewhere deep within, and not fueled by irrational thought or emotion.  Eren surprises himself at how calm he sounds.

Levi looks up at him, and it suddenly dawns on Eren how exhausted he looks.  Something has aged Levi throughout the course of their fight – or had it always been there?

“You’re wrong,” Levi replies, his voice as cool as steel, and Eren suddenly feels the presence of walls going up, blocking him out just as humanity had the Titans.

 _How blind had he been?_   Eren asks himself.

In that moment, he matures.  It’s too late.

“We already have.”

_When had they fallen out of love?_

Eren thinks to ask, but, for the first time, resists the impulse.  He decides that he doesn’t want to know.

Silently, he turns on his heel, expressionless, and leaves Levi’s quarters.  He does not look back.

**_711_ **

It is strange that Levi is not beside Eren when he awakes the next morning.

Of course, Eren had anticipated it long before he’d fallen asleep the night before.  Despite his restless night, he was bewildered when he discovered that he had, somewhere along the way, come to accept it as well.

He sits up in bed and glances at Levi’s vacated side of the bed only for a moment.  No overwhelming emotions bubbled up at the thought of Levi, nor at his absence, yet strangely, Eren does not feel empty.

He yearns to scream, to cry, to physically exert his anger, but the energy is not there.  Eren is confused.  Was heartbreak not supposed to hurt?  His hands lay helplessly at his sides.

The sun is already high in the sky, but Eren does not move from his bed until much later.

**_854_ **

It is not easy.

There are days where the glint of the sun on the ocean’s frothy waves fails to make Eren smile, and that his skin feels empty for the weight of Levi’s lithe frame on his own.  There are nights where Levi angrily slices his blades into the trunks of trees in order to keep himself from screaming out some nameless frustration for which he has no adequate words.  The blades dull quicker than he remembers and all he can do is choke back ugly sobs.

Eren waits out the pain alone on the pebbled shores, stoic and reflective upon the memories which leave him with a dull ache in his heart. Levi sinks at the roots of mutilated evergreens, hot tears streaking his cheeks as he feels the burning in his chest threatening to eat him from the inside out.

Aside from their moments of weakness, the aftermath passes smoothly.  They no longer interact off the battlefield.  They miss one another deeply, and in the loneliest of times they can only think of one another.  While they feel the mutual yearning, they are strong enough to never succumb.

Eren internalizes the pain.  He slowly picks up the pieces of his shattered vision of passionate love, continuing to strive towards his goals with the Survey Corps.  Levi battles with the rawness of his own emotions before finally accepting them for what they are.

As naturally as they began, Eren and Levi end.

**_0_ **

_The lives of most humans take on the form of perpendicular lines –_ _meeting_ _once_ _for_ _a_ _brief_ _while_ _,_ _but_ _never_ _to_ _meet_ _again_ _._ _For_ _Eren and Levi, their lines intersected with an explosion._

_Neither of them would recognize the odds they had overcome to be together, if only for that short amount of time, until the very end.  Their lives were in constant turmoil, on the threshold of death, and their personalities clashed something terrible.  Although seemingly everything had been against the favor of an experienced military captain and his young prot_ _égé_ _,_ _somehow_ _, it had worked._

_Perhaps it only worked because it was never supposed to last._

**_1_ **

Eren Jaeger could fly without wings.

The 3D maneuvering gear is a blessing to him, somebody whose eternal restlessness and quick emotional reactions made him wholly unsuitable to spend his life enclosed behind stone walls.  However, his rash instincts made the shiny metal and sturdy harnesses more of a dangerous curse as he leapt sporadically into the air.

“You’re clearly inexperienced.”

“I’m doing just fine on my own!” Eren finally retorted, glaring at the beautiful intruder.  His muscles tightened instinctively, preparing for defense.

Levi ignores his statement, continuing to stare blankly at him.  “Learning is a continuous process.”

Eren fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“No,” Levi replies flatly before turning on his heel, the thick material of his cloak _swoosh_ ing in his wake.

Stubborn to his own fault, Eren refuses to accept Levi’s answer.  His strides lengthen as he moves to stand in Levi’s path.  “I’m a quick learner.  Ten minutes, tops.”

Levi is scowling, but a spark in his eyes betrays his interest.  He stops in his tracks, crosses his arms across his chest, and smirks.  “Hm.  A maneuver that is more fatal than manageable, and you think you can perfect it in ten minutes?  How rich.”

Eren feels a heat rising, and a flush begins to creep up the back of his neck.  He scratches at it impulsively.  “I’ll practice,” he tries to assert with authority; instead, he sounds meek.

“I thought you were doing just fine on your own.”  Levi arches one slender eyebrow.

The gesture sends a sort of electrical current throughout Eren’s body for reasons he does not yet know.  “I’d let you teach me,” he blurts, and his head is throbbing so much with the pulse of his own heartbeat that he can barely register if the words came out in a comprehensive sentence.

If Levi notices, he says nothing.  “Tch,” he scoffs.  “Give me one good reason why I should invest myself in a walking disaster?”

Eren’s gaze hardens, and it is the first time Levi truly registers him.  Determination lines his features, and in that moment, Levi can understand how a young, mouthy brat like himself could have joined the ranks of the Survey Corps. 

He sees himself, merely several years younger, fighting for his own survival.

Intrigued, Levi chooses to listen.

“Because I can guarantee you that you won’t regret it.  Taking a chance on me, that is.”

Levi cannot suppress the grin that spreads across his face upon hearing the resolve in Eren’s voice.  In a sense, he sounds like every other new cadet fresh out of training – emboldened by false visions of glory and grandeur, scheming with the thought of ulterior motives, or faux bravery that will wear away after a week before they revert to cowardice.

And yet…

Levi sheaths his blades and stalks past Eren, in the direction of the wall.  Confused, Eren turns to follow.

“H-hey, where are you…?”

Levi whirls around.  “I thought you wanted to learn.  Time is precious, just as precious as your miserable life, on the battlefield.  You want to learn.  Why shouldn’t we start right away?”  His voice is cool, yet the hint of a smile on his lips is inviting.

Eren blinks, and returns the smile warmly.  He nods gratefully and trots after Levi towards the wall, beyond which the sun is melting behind the treetops and casting a golden glow upon all it touches.

There are seven hundred and eleven lessons, and Levi is not the only teacher.

**_count lost_ **

The final time is unexpected.

It is after the war’s end and humanity’s subsequent victory.  They are coincidentally at the same café in Sina, Eren stopping by on a whim as he craved a buttered croissant, and Levi lounging in a worn, upholstered armchair with a thick, hardcover book.

Quite by accident, they make eye contact.  A spark of not-entirely-unpleasant surprise erupts between the two, unnoticed by anyone but themselves.  In that split second, they relive years of contempt, grudging respect, curiosity, passion, love, and silent heartbreak.  The memories that resurface, all too vivid, are too fleeting to evoke serious emotional reaction, yet the two men are nonetheless dragged to a standstill.

The moment feels as though it lasts for much longer.

To Eren, Levi’s steely, silver eyes no longer hold any compelling mystery, and to Levi, Eren’s green-gold eyes no longer entice him with a mischievous glint.  They are merely two strangers, connected by a bond of mutual respect, who have already read one another’s stories.  Yet, they did not belong in the future chapters.

Silently, Levi nods, barely moving his head as he politely acknowledges his former lover.  Eren knows that Levi is not being rude in his flippant action.  He remembers the walls that Levi built following their final argument and feels their presence yet again.  Yet, he feels no desire to breach them.

Eren maintains his gaze, interpreting Levi’s slight gesture as though he still knows him.  He hears the eternally familiar voice in his head: _You’_ _ve_ _kept_ _yourself_ _alive.  Not bad –_ _for_ _a_ _brat_ _._

Despite it all, they both know that, without the other, they could not have created the lives they were living in that moment, even if they no longer existed in one another’s worlds.  All that mattered now was that, at a point in time, they had needed one another.

Better yet, they had been there for one another – not simply through a troubled romance, but also a grim time of violence, fear, and trauma.  It was unforgettable.  How could it not be?

And, although neither of them would ever say it aloud, they would not have changed it for the world.

Eren allows a small, yet genuine, grin to brighten his features, even as he sees the thin, silver band glinting on Levi’s left hand.  As Levi turns a page, his eyes carefully interpret Eren’s expression and accepting smile. 

 _I’_ _m_ _happy_ _that_ _you_ _’_ _re_ _happy_ _,_ _too_ _._

**Author's Note:**

> I love this pairing, the concept of this show, and the depth of the characters. This is merely my interpretation of how things might have gone in the canonverse. Much love to this fandom and all of the writers/artists out there - your work is inspirational!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin is the work of Hajime Isayama.


End file.
